


Complexity and Simplicity

by Mochi_chan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Illumi is a piece of trash, Killua does some introspection, M/M, Nightmares, Soft and Fluffy, Stop Illumi 2k15, deep thoughts, it has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4523010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochi_chan/pseuds/Mochi_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua is haunted by thoughts of Illumi and begins questioning his relationship with Gon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complexity and Simplicity

_"You don't need friends. You're an assassin, you have no need for friends." Illumi said, Killua taking a step back from his brother for comfort, "No! I want friends, I just want to be normal! Leave me alone!" he shouted, trying to gain confidence but still shook in his brother's presence._

_Illumi was not phased by the outburst, "Come home, Kil, you don't need friends or normalcy. You never had any friends before, you don't have any now-", "You're wrong! I have Gon, we're friends! I... I love him and I'm not gonna let you take him away from me!" Killua cried, starting to feel courage build inside at the thought of his best friend._

_The dark-haired man only shook his head sullenly, "Foolish Kil, you misunderstand. You see, Gon isn't your friend nor do you love him.", "Wha-", "You've fabricated this... 'Friendship,' as you call it because he was nice to you. The 'love' you feel is also a fabrication of your imagination, driven from the kindness you see from him. In reality, Gon doesn't care about you at all, in fact, he's afraid of you. Afraid of what you'll do to him if he upsets you because you, Kil, are a killer."_

_Fabricated?_

_Imagination?_

_Was it... Was it all really a lie...?_

_...a!_

_...lua!_

_Huh?_

_Illumi stretched out a hand to his frightened younger brother._

_Killua!_

_"Come home, Kil..."_

_Killua!!_

_"Your family loves you."_

_KILLUA!!!_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Killua, wake up!" Gon cried, shaking his friend's shoulders harder, Killua bolted upright, nearly bashing his head into Gon's.

Killua took in his surroundings, he was in his hotel room that was shared with Gon, the bedside lamp was on so the room was filled with a dull orange-yellow incandescent light that only lit about two feet of the room; Illumi was nowhere in sight, it was only him and Gon.

The white-haired boy placed a hand to his forehead, wisps of his bangs getting caught between his fingers, "Just a nightmare..." he thought, unconsciously rubbing the spot on his forehead where he wrenched Illumi's needle out of his skull.

"Killua!" Gon exclaimed, throwing himself at his friend, who was caught off guard and the two tumbled flat on the mattress, "Gon?! What's wrong?" Killua asked, concerned of his friend's actions. Gon held onto his friend tightly, nuzzling into Killua's neck before responding, "You were tossing and turning a lot, you looked like you were having a nightmare. I tried waking you up, but you wouldn't, then you started mumbling and crying and I got really worried..." Killua listened to Gon and pat his head comfortingly, "It's okay, Gon, I'm alright; it was just a bad dream."

Hazel eyes looked up into sapphire, "Really?"

_"You don't need friends."_

"Yeah." Killua nodded.

_"You don't love him."_

Gon smiled in relief and pressed his forehead to the other's, "Thank goodness, I was really scared, I thought you wouldn't wake up."

_"He's afraid of you..."_

Killua pecked Gon's nose, "It's over now, so let's go back to sleep.", "Okay."

The two adolescents resituated themselves under the covers, Killua reached over his friend and turned off the small lamp that was on. Gon fell into a peaceful slumber relatively quickly while Killua stayed awake and stared at his friend.

Thinking of his dream, Killua couldn't help wondering if there was truth in Illumi's words; what if he fabricated his feelings for Gon because he was nice? Gon was the first person to show him kindness, he was his first friend, his most important friend; of course Killua would latch onto Gon and feel deeply for him. Then Killua thought of the other times; the times he and Gon laughed, cried, fought, argued, trained, _everything_ and then Killua knew; even if Gon wasn't nice to him, even if Gon was the cruelest person in the world, Killua would still see him as light, he'd still love him.

Killua was meant to meet Gon, he was meant to become friends with him, and he was meant to fall in love with him; life intended it to happen. With his new-found resolve, Killua pulled Gon closer to him and fell asleep without the fear of being terrorized by Illumi, sure Killua would never understand the complexity that was his older brother, he understood he was meant to be with Gon, simple as that.

**Author's Note:**

> Illumi you piece of trash, jk.


End file.
